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During a standard police raid on the headquarters of the Lower Falls Rd battalion of the IRA a young RUC officer falls in love with the daughter of the leader of the battalion. However he lives with the leader of the local UDA who hangs out at the local pub, The Knee Breaker. The pair marries when a ceasefire is declared but old habits die hard for both families.
|S06E01||A Day in the Life||23/11/2001||Uncle Andy takes the lend of Rocco Brooklyn (to whom he gives the nom de guerre ‘Elvis’) from Samantha down the road in order to secure his £62 a month from the Social Services. Sadly for him and his bank balance he soon gets rumbled by the Social, and Samantha’s extremely agressive husband, due to his somewhat inattentive guardianship. Meanwhile, Da is facing the sack from his position as Sinn Fein assembly member due to a misplaced comment about the watch-towers in South Armagh, namely that they should be kept in place because "someone needs to keep an eye on those mad b******ds". Gerry said he’d take his chances with the by-election, but is this just a test?|
|S06E02||Seven||30/11/2001||Da gives himself a makeover and a new moniker as he dons some street-gear and transforms into ‘Duff Paddy’ in a bid to secure the youth vote. At least that’s what he tells Ma. In actual fact it seems to be a desperate attempt to emulate Bobby McCrue and his young Russian bride, or to get away from Ma - their perfect match began when Ma answered Da’s personal ad: "Ugly glipe seeks gullible woman for 37 years of unrelenting misery". As an indirect result of Da's antics, Cal manages to get himself a new girlfriend. Chantelle Toomey, however, is more than he bargained for - she may have named her kids after the characters in the "Sound of Music" but their antics are more akin to those in "Seven"! Uncle Andy, meanwhile, is going in for a spot of historical revisionism by making a short film about King Billy and the Battle of the Boyne for Channel 4 with sidekick Mervyn. Dympna’s offer to help out is turned down as Uncle Andy decrees that it’s a PPP - Purely Protestant Production. However, he unearths a few truths he'd rather not know.|
|S06E03||Intiminadation||07/12/2001||After their trip to the Ideal Home Exhibition, Ma and Dympna both have their heads full of ideas. Dympna comes up with a rather novel way of executing hers by beggining a campaign of harrassment designed to frighten Billy out of Orange Terrace. Meanwhile, Ma and Da sign an historic cease fire and agree to buy some furniture, but the break in hostilities doesn't last long as Da misinterprets Ma's request for "something in mahogany" and returns with a full-sized snooker table. Ma immediately calls the removal men but has to watch on in horror as her living room begins to resemble the Crucible. Red Hand Luke, however, becomes the proud denizen of a beautiful 4-bedroom Laganside apartment courtesy of the Housing Executive, "on account of the intiminadation". Mervyn explains to a bewildered Uncle Andy that if you get intimidated out of your house the Housing Executive have to find you somewhere else to live. But when Mervyn asks Luke who intimidated him, he replies: "Nobody. I intimidated the Housing Executive".|
|S06E04||The Drugs Don't Work||14/12/2001||The launch of Uncle Andy's work of literary genius at 3 Orange Terrace is not proving to be much of a crowd-puller. He certainly won't be shifting many copies in Germany, where the translation is Mein Kampf. Mind you, he had already halved his potential readership as the book went to press - "published in Ulster, by the Ulster Protestant Press, for Protestants. Not for sale to taigs." Neither is Billy to impressed with his dedication: "To a turncoat cop who stood idly by while the Protestant people were trampled on. How do you live with yourself?" But what goes around comes around and, as sales figures peak at 3, Andy finds himself £1000 in debt to Mad Lenny. As the unwitting guarantour of this "loan", Mervyn finds himself lured into Uncle Andy's solution to the problem - Medical Drugs Trials. The only catch? They've got to stay off the drink for the duration...|
|S06E05||A Christmas Carol||21/12/2001||Da gets an unexpected Christmas bonus when Gerry's card arrives in the post and Billy forces Uncle Andy, Mervyn and Sammy to use the £1000 granted by the council to the "Kneebreakers Community Christmas Club Committee" on decorations. They set up a suspiciously cheap-looking Santa's Grotto. Nevertheless, Red Hand Luke cannot contain his excitement and is shocked when he unmasks Uncle Andy beneath the beard. Things turn nasty when Mervyn points out that Santa doesn't actually exist, much to Luke's dismay. Meanwhile, over at 47a Divis Towers, the evil spirit possessing the place at Christmas turns out to be a rather mild-mannered fellow called Raymond - killed by a turkey chucked out of the window in 1974. That would explain the festive nightmares for the past 27 years...|
|S06E06||The Shoes of the Fisherman||28/12/2001||Emer writes to Billy and, although he is the last to read it, the consequences of the papal annulment of their marriage she has secured quickly dawn on him - "Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last". Mind you, his cries are soon drowned out by Dympna's demands for an engagement ring. Uncle Andy, whilst obviously appalled by this impending match, magnanimously offers to host the reception in the Kneebreakers. But further disbelief is ahead when Billy and Dympna announce that the Pope himself is to conduct the ceremony: "The Pope!!!!? There's no way I'll sign him into the Kneebreakers". Soon enough though, occasional Kneebreakers' entertainer 'Micky McMesma' turns Uncle Andy into the Pope as part of his act, unfortunately dropping dead before he can change him back. So, when Billy, Dympna, Ma, Da and Cal head off to Rome for the wedding, little do they know that Uncle Andy is hot on their trail in full Papal attire. Da has other problems on his hands too - in the shape of Cardinal Vincenzo. Da is not too pleased to see him given the affection clearly evident between him and Ma. This potent combination of chivalry and ignorant male pride soon leads to the battle to end all battles, at least in Da's head...|
|S09E01||The Producers||28/11/2003||Da's none too pleased with his recent appointment as Sinn Fein Cultural Affairs Spokesman. "It'll be Riverdance this and diddly-dee that!" he compains. He changes his mind though when he learns that an American trust is prepared to fund a local film to the tune of $750,000! Not to be out done, Mervyn and Andy also apply for a grant and once they get the money go on a giddy spending spree that includes Cartier watches and jet-setting to Las Vegas. Back in Divis Towers, Cal and Da are struggling with the casting of "Da Another Day". While Liam Neeson, George Clooney, Will Smith and Sean Connery have all been considered, Da feels he has no choice but to be true to his artistic vision and play the leading role himself. But when Ma discovers that his role involves romantic scenes with a glamorous actress, she has something to say on the matter...|
|S09E02||Return of the Mummy||05/12/2003||It's Billy's birthday and Da and Cal are once again teasing him about being an orphan. Billy admits that the best present he could every get would be to discover who his mother is. Inspried, Dympna places an ad in the paper. There is soon a queue of women outside Billy's front door all looking to be reunited by their son (and claim the substantial reward!) Just as Billy and Dympna are tiring of interviewing the imposters, a woman called Andrea arrives and declares she is Billy's mother and can prove it! True to her word she knows all about the bracelet Billy was wearing when abandoned and his birthmark shaped liked Ireland. Delighted to be reunited with his mother, Billy voices the question he's dreading most. If Andrea is Billy's mum, then who is his dad?...|
|S09E03||It Must Be Love||12/12/2003||The unthinkable happens - a woman falls in love with Uncle Andy! Notwithstanding the fact that at first he thought Jolene was a female impersonator, Andy just can't believe his luck. And the good news just keeps on coming when Mervyn reveals that he will come into a million pounds on his wedding day, thanks to a bequest from his Uncle Edgar! Over in Divis Towers the situation is less rosy. Da is distraught that he has been told to deliver a speech to the European Parliament on "Encouraging and Expanding the use of Minority Languages in the EU". In Irish... Ma agrees to write the speech for him in exchange for a new washing machine, but when he double-crosses her things turn nasty... When Andy realises that Big Mervyn must marry before midnight or lose his inheritance, he casts wildly around for a woman prepared to marry his mucker. But is he prepared to sacrifice Jolene in the process?|
|S09E04||The Sixth Sense||19/12/2003||Cal discovers he can hear dead people and takes to wandering round the graveyards of Belfast communicating with the deceased. From family members to long dead republican leaders, Cal receives the same haunting message - that Ma should never have married Da! Andy and Mervyn could do with a bit of supernatural help over in Orange Terrace. They are on the run from the local loyalist paramilitaries because they spilt Pastor Begbies pint. It looks like they are in for a hiding until Red Hand Luke arrives on the scene and greets Begbie like the old cell-mate he once was. In order to keep in Luke's good books Uncle Andy invites him to stay with him. Luke's eccentric behaviour and his bizarre diet of nothing but beetroot pushes everyone to the end of their tether. In a effort to make Luke move out Uncle Andy whips up a nut quiche knowing Luke has a nut allergy. However his plan backfires when Luke collapses on the floor dead! Ever suspicious, Pastor Begbie decides to investigate Luke's death and so it falls to Cal to commune with the deceased Luke and convince Pastor Begbie that Andy and Mervyn didn't kill him...|
|S09E05||The King and I||26/12/2003||While running away from the other members of the Unionist Unity Committee, Andy takes a wrong turn and runs into a nationalist area where he meets a few Celtic supporters. Recounting the tale later to Billy and Dympna, Andy admits that he thought he was done for until Elvis showed up and saved him! Everyone is convinced that Andy has lost the plot and in a desperate bid to save his mate from a psychiatric ward, Mervyn decides to take Andy to Graceland show him Elvis' grave and shock his friend back to reality. The hapless muckers head Stateside and things seem to be going according to plan until they get to Graceland where Andy insists on digging up Elvis' coffin and checking inside...|
|S09E06||Shock and Awe||02/01/2004||Da gets an electric shock while taking down the Christmas tree lights and has a total character change! Gone is the lazy, scheming skiver that Ma and Cal have known all these years and in his place is a debonair, diligent and dedicated father. The transformation doesn't last long though as an other electric shock returns Da to his miserable self. There are shocks to be had in Billy house too when Uncle Andy and Mervyn realise that Red Hand Luke has a gift for predicting winners in horseracing. Rather than making them all very rich though, Luke's gift is soon turned against Uncle Andy and Mervyn who are forced to bet against Luke "for the fun of it"! Even Billy gets involved and soon he's lost everything, even the house. Back in Divis Towers, Ma decides to give Da another wee shock to get back his nicer alter ego, but she gets a nicer person than even she can tolerate...|