Affiche Your Favorite Martian
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"YourFavoriteMartian" (YFM), which features animated music videos. The songs are performed by a virtual band of four fictional cartoon characters: PuffPuff Humbert (vocals, voiced by Johnson), DeeJay (turntables), Axel Chains (drums), and Benatar (vocals, guitar/keytar/bass/piano, voiced by Jesse Cale). Johnson writes lyrics, raps, sings, composes beats, and sometimes collaborates with other musicians to produce the songs.

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Saisons & épisodes Les résumés de tous les épisodes de Your Favorite Martian

S01E01 My Balls 26/01/2011 ***LYRICS***Girl, I know you left me, but there was something I forgot to show you. Baby girl, you left me. Oh no! We broke up. It's been a while since we last spoke, but I need another chance. Can you give me that? 'Cause there's something in my pants that'll win you back. I wanna be your man again, But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston. And I know you said you'd never call, But girl, you ain't seen my balls. You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls. (repeat) My balls are so awesome. Don't get me started. They're so damn big. How big are they? They're so big. It's really obnoxious. It's like two ewoks chillin' in my boxers. They're so big. I can't hold 'em back. Even Cartman's like, man those are fat. They're so big. They're run over your feet. That's why when they back up you hear a beep beep. And how can I be subtle, when my balls chase Indiana Jones through a tunnel? And everyone at Disney World keeps telling me That Epcot Center looks at 'em with jealousy. In fact, when you see 'em on the street they'll Fight Godzilla to the death in the sequel. I'm guessing soon you'll be hoping I'm back, 'Cause my balls are so big they've got an opening act. You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls. (repeat) My balls are so epic, and I ain't boastin', but they have an effect on the tides in the ocean. And when the sun's right, it might cause A total solar eclipse of my balls. 'Cause these things are where it's happenin', and when I whip 'em out you'll take me back again. Should I compare 'em to a brontosaurus? No, excuse me I'm on the chorus. I got what you need. And you'd said you'd never call, But girl you ain't seen these balls. I wanna be your man again, But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston. And I know you said you'd never call, But girl, you
S01E02 Zombie Love Song 09/02/2011 ***LYRICS*** You don't know me, baby, but I've seen you around. It might be kind of crazy, but I'm just new in town. And now I wonder what you'd think if I said, hey look I'd like to get your number and a link to your Facebook. Now if I tell you what a nice guy's supposed to Would that compel you not to scream when I approach you? You'll have to promise me you'll take this news calmly, But honestly, I'm sort of a zombie. I knew you'd be surprised. You can bet that I May not be alive, but I sure as hell ain't dead inside. What's with the shotty? I ain't wishing you harm. You see, I'd try to hold your hand but I'm missing an arm. Brains are all I've eaten all week it's true, But if my heart were still beating, it would beat for you. So let me take you to Wendy's. You deserve it. Yeah, I'm a zombie, baby. Ain't nobody perfect. I'll chase you through the yard and all through the house into the dark. I wanna steal your heart and eat your brains. I've never been so true, but if my heart were still beating, it would beat for you. I wanna steal your heart and eat your brains. Baby, sometimes I bite, and you can bet That I've got an appetite for human flesh. I'll always be near though. You'll have to accept that When I nibble on your earlobe you might get infected. Cause I fell in love with you and I'm Undead but you make me feel alive. And when I chase you through the graveyard It feels like foreplay. If I'm lying I'm dying, and I speak truly When I say I love your mind. I'll take brains over beauty. We'll be the undead Dagwood and Blondie When I teach you how to zombie, teach you, teach you how to zombie. And everybody will love you, and you can sing along to this post-apocalyptic, postmortem love song. So give me a chance,girl. You know I'll be worth it. Yeah, I'm a zombie, baby. Ain't nobody perfect. I&#
S01E03 Bottles of Beer 23/02/2011 I was chilling with my BUD, SAM ADAMS. We get a call from MILLER. The man was having spasms. He said, "dude get dressed. There's not a chance in hell That we could miss this keg party up in SAN MIGUEL." "Do I have to go out, dude?" "No but that Mexican chick CORONA is there, And she's been asking about you." I hung up the phone. Time to get dressed, I Put on my MAGIC HAT and my shirt with the RED STRIPE. We hit a BUSCH dodging traffic as we passed by 'em In that KILLIAN'S RED charger with the FAT TIRE(s). We drove around for like half the night. Luckily the BLUE MOON provided NATURAL LIGHT. We rolled up to the party and everybody was rockin', Playing BECK'S old single on that iPod dock and That's where it's at. My ears were all ringing. The party crowd was getting loud, and everybody started singing: [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall. [inaudible] bottles of beer. You take one down, you pass it around, You got [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall. Now everyone was crammed in the basement, wasted Even ASAHI, that foreign exchange kid. He was just in KINGFISHER, wreckin' his Vette Like "automobile, big leck!" I poured myself a brew and drank half the glass This ugly MOOSEHEAD chick kept grabbing my ass. I told that HARP that she could go to hell And then I saw CORONA, and she was looking STELLA. And down to have some fun, she Was still a freshman, a YUENGLING with a tongue-ring. The alcohol was all clouding my thinking, So I slapped her on the HEINEKEN I get you a drink? And She said, "ha! You're totally cute. "If you fetch me a beer, I'll let you touch my boob." Hell yeah, I went to get her a drink, then The party started moving, and everybody started singing: [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall. [inaudible] bottles of beer. You take one down, you pass it around, You got [inaudible] bottles of beer on the wall. CORONA'S ex-boyfriend
S01E04 Club Villain 09/03/2011
S01E05 The Stereotypes Song 23/03/2011 You know, I always thought stereotypes were kinda ridiculous. So I wrote a song about it, And it goes a little something like this. I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn, And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes. Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl, And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes. Check it out now. I love those fat Americans. You know they so obnoxious. They always eating burgers. They always holding shotguns. And I love Mexicans. The way they mow my lawn. They all got a 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on. Uh huh. 'Cause that's the way they roll. Ya gotta go big like an Israeli nose. If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy, And they're out of control like a Chinese driver. I love the Middle East, but how do they handle Rockin' burkas while they're riding camels. I love Jamaicans. Yeah, they cool, but they're always high, so don't let them fool ya. Ya mon. And I love them Puerto Ricans, Even though they wash their ass about once a week and, I'm just joking. If you didn't know then You're a little slow and you're probably from Poland. I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn, And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes. Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl, And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes. Aw yeah! Let me hear you yell If you love the Outback redneck Australians, And the crooked ass teeth of an English dude And those creepy Italians who think they're smooth. Mamma mia! And how could anyone hate the French. Yeah, I know their hairy women don't shave their pits. Brazilian girls is what you want, Walking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk. I love Africans, but hold up a second. National Geographic says they're all butt-nekkid. Breast
S01E06 The Unofficial Smithers Love Song 06/04/2011 Hey, Mr. Burns. You thought your money could buy you the world. I said hey there, Mr. Burns. I happen to notice that you don't have a girl. Smithers loves you, Burns. Why do you ignore him? You gotta keep up the rapport like it's too important Instead of running away, you should move in toward him. But you keep him at the border like the dude is foreign. We know you're straight, dude. I really hate to Say there's no way anyone else would date you. Straight out the gay scene. How do you face him Knowing he wants to be your Malibu Stacy? All he ever wanted to do was spend a little time with you. Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns. You know you're worth more to him than all the money you spend. Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns. I'm thinking maybe you should give him a chance. I said hey there, Mr. Burns. Yeah, so what if he's a man. We know you're blind, old man, but you can hear me talking. You're always home alone. You ain't Macaulay Culkin. You ain't a Flintstone. Pay no mind To the fact that Smithers wants to have a gay old time. And while relationships have their twists and turns, You know he'll never leave you. Don't you, Mr. Burns. So you should give him a shot, and maybe help the guy, And you can make relations Santa's Little Helper style. All he ever wanted to do was spend a little time with you. Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns. You know you're worth more to him than all the money you spend. Hey, Mr. Burns. Hey, Mr. Burns
S01E07 Orphan Tears Ft Wax 20/04/2011 It was a weekend, and you can't stop Us from going to the local dance spot. Instead of drinking imported beers, Somebody brought a bottle of Orphan Tears. We popped the top. We know what was in it. Yeah, we were all so stupid to sip it. Orphan Tears are so hallucinogenic. I took one drink and saw a two-headed midget. Then the room filled with colors and shapes, And suddenly DeeJay was covered in snakes. Oh snap! And what made it worse Is I swear I saw a unicorn humping a smurf. Then a rainbow appeared out of Wax's ass. He passed some gas and it snapped in half. Yo Deejay! Are you still there? Yeah, I'm trying to hook up with this girl in a wheelchair. Alright. Chill there. I think a bulimic Carebear might pick a fight with Jesus. I don't believe it. I'm gonna be sea sick. These Orphan Tears are about to make me trip. Little children, near and far Don't know where your parents are. Cry directly in this jar. I will drink it at the bar. Sip sippin' on Orphan Tears. Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears. Sip sippin' on, sip sip sippin' on Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears. These Orphan Tears got me feeling like I ain't felt before. I tried to bust-a-move but fell asleep on the dance floor. (DeeJay falls asleep and snores) I swear I saw Bill Cosby like, "Hello with the pudding!" He was dancing in his underwear showing off his woody. I ran to the bathroom. Everything's in slow mo. I couldn't throw up, because the toilet bowl called me a homo. I barfed up a kitten, and I'm feeling strange. Sippin' these Orphan Tears, now it's got me seeing things. Little children, near and far Don't know where your parents are. Cry directly in this jar. I will drink it at the bar. Sip sippin' on Orphan Tears. Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears. Sip sippin' on, sip sip sippin' on Sip sip sippin' on Orphan Tears. All up in the VIP section, straight relaxed. The DJ playin
S01E08 Mr Douchebag 04/05/2011 You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag. You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag. Hey Mr. DoucheBag, why's your ego so massive? You know it's 2 AM and it's dark outside. You don't need those sunglasses. Yeah we all remember that hot chick You hooked up with once Ccause you went on to brag about it for months and months. Yeah we all get that you think it's impressive But ain't nobody impressed with how much you're bench pressing. Buying Smirnoff Ice for girls half your age, Telling all your douchebag friends that you "still got game." Dear Mr. DoucheBag. We all agree that you are a dumbass. Why can't you see that! You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag. You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag. Dear Mr. DoucheBag Do you find it necessary to shout into your Bluetooth Or boast about high school rugby "And I would have went pro if it weren't for my bum knee". And why you got to complain every single time you're not getting laid. You douchebags are a lot of the same. "Dude let's go. This place is full of grenades" Always trying to look cool, like it's a full time career. That's why your Facebook pic shows you chugging a beer. Got your gold chain and your wife-beater on So you can fist pump your way to the tanning salon. Dear Mr. DoucheBag. We all agree that you are a dumbass. Why can't you see that! You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag. You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag. Inconsiderate, ignorant You drink you get belligerent, You think anybody finds you amusing? No, no, no. Not even a little bit. You always find a way to stop all the fun Like, when you scream "party foul" at the top of your lungs. Dear Mr. DoucheBag, I caught you bragging again. Trust me man, nobody gives a damn what frat you were in. You clai
S01E09 Transphobic Techno (Bitch Got a Penis) 18/05/2011 Bitch got a penis Who's got a penis? Bitch got a penis. Got a penis, got a penis. Bitch got a penis, got a penis.
S01E10 Grandma Got a Facebook 01/06/2011 Grandma's got a Facebook, now she's hitting on my friends. Don't care how it started, but now it's got to end. Help me stay connected to my uncles and my aunts, But I also know she's been in my best friend's pants. Grandma, Grandma [4x] Gr-Gr-Grandma Grandma Grandma, Grandma [3x] Well, ever since grandpa passed away, she's been chilling at home. Watching soaps half the day 'cause she's feeling alone. So, I set her up a Facebook and gave the address. To my friends and I asked them all to send a request. And no one would have guessed one day she'd go wild, But grandma got obsessed and changed her profile to slutty McButtSex And I was appalled when I saw a bunch of pictures of her cleavage on her wall. Grandma's got a Facebook, now she's hitting on my friends. Don't care how it started, but now it's got to end. Help me stay connected to my uncles and my aunts, But I also know she's been in my best friend's pants. Grandma, Grandma [4x] Gr-Gr-Grandma Grandma Grandma, Grandma [3x] Then she updated her status yeah, and it made me pissed Cause she said her grandson was a crybaby bitch! And all my stupid friends wrote her back and they laughed. And they all liked her comment cause they're wack and I'm mad. Is this considered abuse, yeah you'd be pissed at her too Cause now her list to do's is just pictures of dudes. I wanted her to make friends but she's about to seduce. My homeboys with a mixture of vodka and prune juice. Grandma's got a Facebook, now she's hitting on my friends. Don't care how it started, but now it's got to end. Help me stay connected to my uncles and my aunts, But I also know she's been in my best friend's pants. Grandma, Grandma [4x] Gr-Gr-Grandma Grandma Grandma, Grandma [3x] I checked my Facebook daily. I get a friend request from this old ass lady. I know it's your grandma, but I ain't gonna lie. She
S01E11 Tig Ol' Bitties 15/06/2011 It was the first day, Back to school. Cuttin up in class, Actin like a tool. Friends are rollin in, We started talkin bout the summer. DJ saw Twilight, Bummer. I spoke up, And I asked my friends, "Are there any new girls? Nines or tens?" Hopin a few hotties, Had moved from other cities, And in walked this girl, With Tig 'Ol Bitties. WHOO I can't believe my eyes. In a contest they'd win first prize. Double D, guarantee, I was checkin the size, It's like two beach balls in a shirt disguise. Or earth and mars, Havin some fun. Wait I take that back, It's like two of the sun. But at this point i let my mind run, And drifted off thinkin bout them Tig 'Ol Bitties. Hah, Tig 'Ol Bitties. Mount Fuji brought it's twin. Tig 'Ol Bitties. Two melons in a shirt. Tig 'Ol Bitties. Tig 'Ol Bitties. I put books in my lap. Tig 'Ol Bitties. Heads bobbin as she walks. Tig 'Ol Bitties. Oh my god! Tig 'Ol Bitties. Tig 'Ol Bitties. T-Tig 'Ol Bitties. T-Tig 'Ol Bitties. T-Tig 'Ol Bitties. Tig 'Ol Bitties. T-Tig 'Ol Bitties. T-Tig 'Ol Bitties. T-Tig 'Ol Bitties. Tig 'Ol Bitties. Kept trippin in class cuz of her dang breasts in a tiny white shirt, Boobs havin a fiesta. Later in lab, We were messin with test tubes. Couldn't keep my eyes off the new girls chest. BOOBS! Wasn't payin attention. Got busted, Had to serve detention. In biology, We talkes about the bees. The best kinda bees. BOOB-BEES. WHOO Can't believe my mind, I hold a pokerface to her two of a kind. With each step, Her breasts gettin redefined, I'm makin my move, I'm thinkin it's time. OH SNAP. Imma ask her to prom, And in my head, She responds "You're the bomb" Feelin nervous, So i count to three. "I like your boobs. Go to prom with me?" Hah, Tig 'Ol Bitties. King kong boobs. Tig 'Ol Bitties. Great tracks of land. T
S01E12 Fight To Win Ft Destorm 29/06/2011 Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win (We're kickin' ass now) Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win (We bring the house down) Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win (We crush our enemies) Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight to win (We bringin' to their knees) I step in the arena I get my knuckles crackin' I try to keep it clean But who knows what could happen I see a long row, an ensemble Of the best fighters from a combo of consoles First came Ryu, a guy who cries (Hadouken!) As he tries to fight you I decked the dude in his chest Just before I shocked Blanka When I kicked the fool directly in his testicles Sub-Zero felt the need to freeze me Exsqueeze me? That's cheesy His ass left bleeding I Falcon Punched Captain Falcon Just as I Super Smashed Mario up in his mustache Panda gets up in my face and I'm thinking That I'ma have to beat him 'Til he's pleadin' for extinction Leavin' knuckle imprints on his eyelids And I ain't sayin' video games make me violet But.. Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win (We're kickin' ass now) Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win (We bring the house down) Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win (We crush our enemies) Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight to win (We bringin' to their knees) C-c-c-c-combo breaker! Awww. I think I'm hit bad Life bar almost depleted [DeStorm] Tag and I'm glad that you passed it to me Which one of the cowards Wanna bring the beef? If you wanna harm me, better bring an army Step in my way and I'm smashing your feet Throw the knife. Pass it to me I'ma slash Jin down to the white meat Then I'm calling out Ken (Let's take it to the streets) Then I'm br
S01E13 Stalkin Your Mom Ft Wax 13/07/2011 I hope she's wearing that blue business suit today. What time is it? Six? Just in time to hide in these bushes. Stalkin' your mom Stalk stalk stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' your mom Stalk stalk stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' your mom. Stalkin' your mom Stalk stalk stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' your mom Stalk stalk stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' your mom Haha, I've been stalkin' your mom For like two years straight. I'm way too shy to ask her out on a date. So I just wait in your neighbors' lawn With my camera ready and my camouflage on. And I know that I'll get plenty pics Once she leaves for work at exactly seven twenty-six. I follow her on my bike, but it's hopeless. Cause I'll never keep up with her Ford Focus. So I kidnapped her golder retriever. Wanted to return it just to please her But forgot to feed her. Taking care of a dog is hard. Gave it to her dead, said it got hit by a car. Stalkin' your mom Stalk stalk stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' your mom Stalk stalk stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' your mom. Stalkin' your mom Stalk stalk stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' your mom Stalk stalk stalkin' stalkin' your mom Stalkin' your mom Yo, I dressed up as a pizza delivery guy. Show up at the door and give her a pie. She says: (I didn't order nuttin' you geek.) (You've been giving me free pizza like once a week.) Oops, so I disguise my voice with a device So she don't know what my voice sounds like. So when I call like a telemarketer just to talk to her She don't think the pizza guy is stalkin' her Sometimes I stay in my bathroom for days Just looking at the scrapbooks I made. My
S01E14 Robot Bar Fight 27/07/2011 Oh snap! It’s a robot bar fight Oh no! It’s a robot bar fight Oh snap! It’s a robot bar fight Oh no! It’s a robot bar fight I remember I used to serve drinks at this local joint Cause I was broke but my focal point was This wasn’t no regular bar It was a spot where robots were ready to spar And one night Megatron rolled in He ordered Pennzoil Drank it straight from a can His plan was to go and get wasted again Standing next to Megaman with a drink in his hand Oh snap! It’s a robot bar fight (Have you ever seen them?) Oh no! It’s a robot bar fight (You ain’t never seen them) Oh snap! It’s a robot bar fight (You ain’t never seen them) Oh no! It’s a robot bar fight Now Megatron was Rambunctious, hoping to lay That lady from the Jetsons, Rosie the Maid He said, “Hey, baby. Can I lube your parts? We can put our metal together, produce a spark.” Now, she was praying for a man to defend her from the offender Her friend Bender walked in and wopped, clocked, socked him in the jaw Then he saw Dr. Robotnik And Robotnik was about to attack And Terminator grabbed a bottle sayin’ “I’ll be back.” Cause he knew Megatron for a couple of years Hit Bender with the bottle and it busted his gears Oh snap! It’s a robot bar fight (Have you ever seen them?) Oh no! It’s a robot bar fight (You ain’t never seen them) Oh snap! It’s a robot bar fight (You ain’t never seen them) Oh no! It’s a robot bar fight Now Marvin the Paranoid Android was startled, right And he screamed, “It’s a robot bar fight.” And Robocop busted in to stop ‘em Started shooting at Robotnik Blaka! Blaka! Bullet hit Robotnik in the esophagus One grazed the shoulder of Maria from Metropolis Before Robocop could say he was sorry In jumped her boyfriend Wall-E Wall-E rolled up, pretty upset Took Robocop’s gun, pistol-whipped him in the neck And everybody ran. He was fixin’ to shoot at R2 and C3PO kissin’ in a booth Oh snap! It’s a robot bar fight (Have you ever seen them?) Oh no! It’s a robot bar fight (You ain’t never s
S01E15 8-Bit World Ft Hoodie Allen 10/08/2011 Man I feel like we live in a life of Nintendo, Cause reality's such a hassle Sometimes I even find my princess in another castle I should ask Dr. Mario for medicine Maybe hit up Little Nemo for a sedative And slip into a Final Fantasy until the sequels get repetitive You know I'll never let this, stack up against me Tetris Some call me Pac-Man, maka-maka-maka Cause I eat these spirits for breakfast And if my game ain't startin', Baby feel free to blow on my cartridge Alcohol makes everything so pixelated when you party in a 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world 8-bit world – you know we livin' in a 8-bit world – we're side scollin' in this 8-bit world – collectin' coins in a 8-bit world – we're next level [Hoodie Allen] Nowadays my life's so complicated My TV is 3D, not pixelated The music is 4 free and 5, 6, 7, 8 bit Plug me in, you don't even gotta say shit Hittin' all my neighbors in Mercedes. Okay they annoyed Ask me why I do it, cause I'm all about the Paper Boy Let me know that I am just the illest villain they employed Let me slow it down, slow it down with the illest noise Damn girl, you kinda made my screen froze Take you to my d-pad, show you who's the hero Give you all the recap, got a Metal Gear flow Cause it's so solid, my whole team brolic Came to L.A. man, now I gotta dodge her You ain't gonna make it in these streets like Frogger I'm on YouTube like a blogger You heard me, groupies wanna blow, Kirby 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world 8-bit world – you know we livin' in a 8-bit world – we're side scollin' in this 8-bit world – collectin' coins in a 8-bit world – we're next level I drink until I feel like Tyson punched me out And until these chicks get sick of us I'll collect hearts like Kid Icarus Hey
S01E16 Puppet Break-Up 14/09/2011 Ha ha ha ha! It's been a while since you felt my felt, But this relationship's the biggest piece of shit I've ever smelt. Always got me stressin'. Always keeping me guessin'. I'm like a Snuffleupagus a fuckin' depressive And if I ask you a question, would you answer at last? Girl, I'm not your puppet, so why's your hand up my ass? Cause I can find a better girlfriend, a better boo. This breakup's brought to you by the letter F and the letter U. (whoooo) This is exactly what I'd said I'd do. My bones are made of styrofoam, but you can't find a better dude. Why'd you leave me? Was it something I did? I feel like Kermit the Frog, cause I was fu(beep)cing a pig And I'll gonna take back my money spent, every nickle So stick your hands down my pants and give Elmo a tickle (ha ha) Cause I ain't puttin up with your shit man! Fuck it! So get your hand out of my ass, bitch, cause I ain't your Puppet Girl I'm not your puppet Girl I'm not your puppet puppet puppet Girl I'm not your puppet hey Girl I'm not your puppet puppet puppet Girl I'm not your puppet ho Girl I'm not your puppet puppet puppet Girl I'm not your puppet hey Girl I'm not your puppet puppet puppet I'm sorry. I believe you mistook me For a codependent Cookie Monster feeding you cookies I'm moving on. (ha-ha) It ain't a question to me. I'll fuck all the other muppets on Sesame Street. I'll fuck that redhead from Lamp Chop with the Fro' Upload the video, so you can watch it and know That you're not a unique snowflake You're just another chick And you ain't jeff Dunham, but you can jump on my stick I ain't bitter, but it'd be a waste If you didn't ask you new boyfriend how my felt tastes. Will I get over it? Probably, but First. I think I'll fuck your fat friend Jabba the slut! And it's sad, cause I was kinda thinkin&#
S01E17 Whip Yo Kids Ft Nicepeter 28/09/0201 I don’t know if you’re aware but your kids suck ass If you need someone to whip ‘em then, ha… just ask ’cause They ain’t as perfect as you say they is. They ain’t perfect at all. You’re raising Bebe’s kids. I’m sorry. I don’t know you. I don’t mean to get pissy but you need to discipline your bratty kids, you hippy. Like c’mere you little jerk. Taste the back of my palm! But you ain’t my daddy! Nah! But I’m doing your mom! Now I know you think they’re angels, but they’re driving me insane. I’ll punch a baby in the face just for cryin’ on a plane. Cause I don’t mess around. You need to control ‘em or I’ll lose it. But I made you a drawing. Shut the fuck up, kid. That’s stupid. Now Imma get my truck. Imma load all my boys in back. Imma find out where you live and break all your toys in half. And I know it ain’t your birthday, but when nobody’s lookin’ Imma give you a little present. What? An ass-whoopin’!! Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids. Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids. Please may I whip your kids. I wanna whip your kids. Please let me whip your kids. Please I wanna whip your kids. I whip your kids. Please I whip your kids. I wanna whip your kids. I never ever thought I’d say a kid deserved to get hit but it’s obvious time-out ain’t working for shit! Yeah, I’ve seen your parenting style. It ain’t all that. You gotta hit the little brat with a whiffle ball bat. ‘Cause this is obviously more than just a youthful rebellion. You gotta belt the little hellions with a belt when they’re yellin’ Cause you don’t want me to do it cause I’ll paint their little brains all over the wall when I spank ‘em with a chainsaw. And why are they acting wild and loose? If they deserve the ass-whoopin’, it ain’t child abuse. When I’m tryin’ to buy groceries, and they’re muckin’ up my style. They’re like drunkin’ little midgets runnin’ up and down the aisle. Touching everything in sight, and geez for Christ’s sake I think one of ‘em just stuck his little penis
S01E18 Booty Store 12/10/2011 Booty (Booty!) Booty (Booty!) This store sells booty (Butt cheeks) Booty (Booty!) Booty (Booty!) This store sells booty (Make that ass clap) Girl, you got class and you’re lookin’ so fine But you need a better ass as I follow behind You gotta go to Wal-Mart and get a new get-up Or you can pay us We’ll make your booty look better ’cause this store sells brand new asses From the manufacturer straight to the masses So if your booty’s flat, we’ll take it back And give you a new ass, and you’ll make it clap like Double Ds in the front and the back You’ll redefine what it means to have a fanny pack And everybody will stare and they’ll gawk astounded We’ll give you an ass so big, you gotta walk around it You can have knowledge, self-esteem, and class But who needs all that when you gotta nice ass? Girl, you need a new set of butt cheeks and I think we can help you out We’ve got a store full of junk for your trunk and baby without a doubt You could improve your personality but who the hell wants that When you could buy your self esteem in the form of a brand new ass Everybody say Booty (Booty!) Booty (Booty!) This store sells booty (Butt cheeks) Booty (Booty!) Booty (Booty!) This store sells booty (Make that ass clap) Come on, ladies. Come on down We’ve got some asses on clearance You buy two butt cheeks, you get the third one free. Ha ha We’ve got a store full of inventory Hook you up with a new butt, end of story We’ve got “My Humps.” We got “Badunkadunk.” We’ve got “Bootylicious” and “Junk in the Trunk.” The type of butt that rappers sing of And if you’re ol’ school, we got the “Pumps and a Bump.” We’ve got miles of booty Warehouse of booty White girl booty that’s cute and snooty We’ve got the ass of Kardashian We’ve got the Jennifer Lopez if that’s your plan We’ve got the Shakira, the Beyonce We’ve got the Matthew McConaughey …wait what? Our booty selection is second to none We’ll even give an Asian a respectable butt You can have knowledge, self-esteem, and class
S01E19 Nerd Rage!!! 26/10/2011 I got that Nerd Rage Nerd Rage I got that Nerd Rage Nerd Rage Nerd-nerd Rage Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage Nerd-nerd Rage They say I Nerd Rage I say they don’t understand Keep talkin’ trash bitch Imma have to ban you from my chat room And I can hardly think But Imma have to slap Jar Jar Binks And slam George Lucas’ head in a car door For far more than just ruining Star Wars Stop re-mastering, you’re making it worst And for the love of god, Greedo didn’t shoot first! And fuck Comic Sans And fuck low bandwidth And never say Pluto ain’t a planet, goddamnit I’m readin’ what you’re saying on the message boards Yes, I have too had sex before! With a girl, you don’t know her, she moved away! Shut up! And don’t tell me Dr. Who is the same Without Tom Baker, the shit is just lame And what do you mean you’ve never seen Citizen Kane? Nerd Rage Nerd Rage I got that Nerd Rage Nerd Rage Nerd-nerd Rage Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!) Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!) Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!) I broke seven keyboards over my knee How dare you say Marvel is better than DC Your horrible grammar, it’s makin’ me puke And Captain Kirk was far superior to John Luke Picard And a Jedi could whip Superman in a fight When I’m right Imma laugh like (Nerd Laugh) You beat me in chess; I’m flippin’ the board Then I’ll go to Michael Bay’s house, kick in the door Break every single copy of Transformer 4 Hit Bay in the dick with a stick ’til he’s sore I’ll own your ass in Halo so bad you might cry And who the hell jacked my twelve-sided die I’m gonna beat you up; I know karate, ask my girlfriend Yes, I have a girlfriend Did I mention I have a girlfriend? Nerd Rage Nerd Rage I got that Nerd Rage Nerd Rage Nerd-nerd Rage Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!) Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!) Nerd-nerd-nerd Nerd Rage (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!) I see Wil Wheaton, and I get excited Pick
S01E20 Epileptic Techno 09/11/2011 Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Epileptic Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Epileptic Chilaxin’ out with Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen They want to check this new joint, Club Convulsion We put our ass in motion All my stupid friends rolled up and the D.J. looked like Superman, if he were homeless And standing by the bar, douchebag was hitting on a tranny Oh wait that’s Hillary Clinton there with Dick Cheney, who was killin’ a kitten I saw Shaq, Jack Black and J-Lo I even saw that one guy from that one show I saw alcoholic Jews and fat truckers And Oprah was there like: “I’m Oprah, Fucker!” And everything was good until the second Homeless Superman put on this record I stood there with my friends and the Olsen Twins As he spins everybody had convulsions. Dance, dance, dance like you’re having a seizure. Move, move, move like you’re having a fit Shake, shake, shake. This is causing a spasm Epileptic Techno Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Epileptic Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep Epileptic Now I ain’t trying to disrespect epileptics But the music he played made the place go hectic The speakers on the deck became disconnected All the alcoholic Jews were suddenly naked I felt my muscles expand and contract I passed out on the dance floor laying on my back Reality started fading, cutting in and out I woke up when an Olsen Twin threw up in my mouth And we were hoping we could leave at our leisure But the whole fuckin’ theater was havin’ a seizure Except Oprah, the music didn’t touch her Still standing hard, “I’m Oprah, fucker!” I saw the D.J. loadin’ another disc With most of the party still foaming at the lips I grabbed my friends and headed for the exit When Homeless Superman started spinnin’ that next hit Dance, dance, dance like you’re having a seizure Move, move, move like you’re having a fit Shake, shake, shake. This is causing a spasm Epileptic Techno Ep-Ep-Ep Ep-Ep-Ep-Ep
S01E21 Dookie Fresh 23/11/2011 Dookie Doo-dookie Doo-Dookie Dookie Fresh Dookie Doo-dookie Doo-Dookie Dookie Fresh Dookie Doo-dookie Doo-Dookie Dookie Fresh Dookie Fresh, Dookie Fresh I-I-I I had a hot date so I picked her up at eight, sharp Her body was bangin’ This chick was built with great parts (whistles) Then she was beautiful, I didn’t really know her But I noticed when I picked her up, she had a funny odor I was really confused cuz she had a gorgeous body But she stunk like Precious dropped a deuce in a port-a-potty Her funk was crazy strong, killin me with deadly stank It made me wanna do a cannon ball into a septic tank To get away from the stank I gave her a dozen roses but they wilted and I think that she’s hot But I don’t even know if I can do this Cuz she smells like R. Kelly’s date mixed with raw sewage Her breath smells like a homeless man pooped in her mouth She needs to bathe herself in tomato juice or I’m out She’s ridiculously fine! So who woulda guessed that this girl smells so Dookie Fresh Dookie Doo-dookie Doo-Dookie Dookie Fresh Dookie Doo-dookie Doo-Dookie Dookie Fresh Dookie Doo-dookie Doo-Dookie Dookie Fresh Dookie Fresh, Dookie Fresh I gotta admit she knocked me off my feet Even with her stench of wet dog and taco meat She said “Puff, I really like you, and I’d rally be embarrassed if you didn’t peep my heritage and meet my parents.” So I drove to their house, and I parked the car And it smelled like Amy Winehouse threw up in a jar And it got worse as soon as we entered her parents’ house I started gagging’ like I had a pubic hair in my mouth Should I run home and take a shower in bleach? “Yes!” Her mom stank like Lady Gaga’s old ass meat dress “Paparazzi!” Shut up, this shit ain’t funny! Even her dad smelled like the inside of Batman’s onesy Her mom made us dinner and I couldn’t even eat it Cuz she smelled like a piece of meat between the lunch lady’s cleavage I really like this girl, but I feel like givin’ in To To To be honest she smells like an Indian “Hey, that
S01E22 Santa Hates Poor Kids 07/12/2011 I really hate it that my family’s poor! I really wish I was a rich kid. ’Cause they always get all the pimped gifts for Christmas. Did I get a new Xbox? Fat chance! While Billy gets a new pony and a lap dance. Plus a tree house mansion and a jet ski. How the hell did he get a pterodactyl? Gets me! I thought Christmas was awesome, on and poppin. ’Till Jan got a slave and Google stock options. And I don’t think you understand how it feels. To see another kid roll up in his Bentley Power Wheels like: “Look at my new ride; Santa just bought it. He didn’t get you nothing ‘cause your mom’s an alcoholic.” He’s right I got some underwear used by my brother. I’m like Oliver Twist, “Please may I have another?” I opened up a present, and found an eviction notice! Man, fuck you Santa! We’re spending Christmas with the homeless! [Chorus] Santa must hate the poor kids. ‘Cause Santa only hangs with the rich, come on. Santa Hates Poor Kids. Santa Hates Poor Kids. And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming. Nothing under your tree tonight! And all I got was a charm bracelet with no charms. And a discharged G.I. Joe with no arms. And a drunk step dad. Man, I hate it here! And mom got some cigarettes and half a case of beer. We’re too poor for Christmas music. We A capella! And our Christmas tree is just a busted umbrella. With a bunch of junk glued to it. This shit is useless! And Ravi said: Santa also hates you if you’re Jewish. [Chorus] Santa must hate the poor kids. ‘Cause Santa only hangs with the rich, sing it. Santa Hates Poor Kids. Santa Hates Poor Kids. And if you ain’t got money then he ain’t coming. Nothing under your tree tonight! Santa Hates Poor Kids. Fuck you Santa! You fat motherfucker! How’d you get so big? You been drinking butter? Always acting jolly, I ain’t buying into that. And why you always trying to get kids to sit on your lap? I heard you touch Scottish boys under the kilt. Hey Fatty Clause! Stop eating my cookies and milk! Or I’m going to go to th
S01E23 Shitty G 21/12/2011 I'm a rapper, I'm a rebel. Two middle fingers in the air. I'm a wanna be, yeah a SHITTY G! But I don't really care. Ain't nobody quite like me. 'cuz my name is SHITTY G. Ain't nobody quite like me. Shitty - Shitty - G - G. Let me tell you about my main man SHITTY G. He never lived in the city. He's from the middle of Tennessee. He's got a wife she's morbidly obese. While Shitty sits at Danny's sipping 40's of Ol'E. No toilet in his trailer, he'll piss on the street. SHITTY G would bite your style, but he's missing some teeth. Rockin' white beaters with pit stains. SHITTY's so humble, "yo, I'm the shit, man" King of the trailer park, thinks he's hard as nails. Front yard lookin' like a junk yard sale. Rolling round on a riding mower, mouth full of chew. Sipping on Jack Daniels mixed with Mountain Dew. Always running from the cops getting charged with theft. They want him behind bars but he's hard to catch. Always hustling something, his hands are never clean. Plus, he's got the worst tattoos...that you've ever seen. I'm a rapper, I'm a rebel. Two middle fingers in the air. I'm a wanna be, yeah a SHITTY G! But I don't really care. Ain't nobody quite like me. 'cuz my name is SHITTY G. Ain't nobody quite like me. Shitty - Shitty - G - G. Catch his drinking cans of Busch Light, smoking new ports, bumping Toby Keith and Too Short He grows his own reefer, steals cables from his neighbors. You can always smell the vapors from the meth lab in his trailer. He thinks he's bad just like his credit. He's got a sugar Mama, but SHITTY is diabetic. He's got a poster of Federline, his hero. He'll drink a box of wine and say, "What up my negro?!" I'm a rapper, I'm a rebel. Two middle fingers in the air. I'm a wanna be, yeah a SHITTY G! But I don't really care. Ain'
S01E24 Friend Zone 04/01/2012 I like this girl so much She’s always on my mind We have an awesome time We never crossed the line She don’t wanna mess-up the friendship “Friendsies” I’m in a frenzy, ’cause my bedroom's empty And I’m gently attempting to win her over By being as good as friend as I can be She’s tempting but riddled with doubt Friend Zone is like the mafia You’ll never get out! Ya She doesn’t know the half In my wallet I keep her photograph I’ve made my decision For you, Babygirl, I’d change religions ‘Cause in your eyes I see heaven Girl, I think about you 24/7 Befire this story ends I wanna know can we be more than friends? I put my hands up in the air Try to act like I don’t care But tonight I’m all alone Because now I’m in the Friend Zone I’m in The Friend Zone I’m in The Friend Zone I’m in The Friend Zone Now, I’m in The Friend Zone Now, I’m in The Friend Zone Now, I’m in The Friend Zone, Oh Ya I go the blues ’cause we’re not knockin’ the boots We’re talkin’ gossip news and shoppin’ for shoes I hate when you make me watch Sex and The City until the day ends I’m not your gay friend! But I’ll do it, just to get next to you. Just to prove I can best the rest the dudes I’m obsessed with you. I pester you. ‘Cause when we ain’t together, I’m probably texting you Ohh! You make me the maddest I just want to change my Facebook status To “in a relationship” But “it’s complicated” Well you’re makin’ it hard for me ‘Cause I just can’t walk away I just can’t walk away I just can’t walk away I put my hands up in the air Try to act like I don’t care But tonight I’m all alone Because now I’m in the Friend Zone I’m in The Friend Zone I’m in The Friend Zone I’m in The Friend Zone Now, I’m in The Friend Zone I know you don’t notice, but there’s no excuse To date that other dude, he’s a total douche He’s got a few broken screws, I’m so confused That Imma have to show the dude That you deserve better, and you know you do Always feel free to cry on my shoulder. Boo ‘Cause if I eer go w
S01E25 She Looks Like Sex [Remix] Ft Mike Posner 18/01/2012 She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex Sex Sex, sex She looks like sex Sex, sex Oo-ooh She looks like sex Maybe not yet, but don't fret I bet if you get drunk suddenly you'll be dead set On getting it in You mess with the gin And you'll end up convinced you had sex with a 10 So full throttle Order another bottle And shot after shot will ransform her into a model Mike posner on the refrain 'Cause you know beer goggles are hell of a thing That ass makes me wanna oo-ooh You know exactly what you do How I'd really like to take that home Everybody here knows... She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex [4x] She looks like When I crack a six pack and chase it with patron Every girl looks like catherine zeta jones So I show up to the club, and I stand at the door Waiting on the perfect girl whose standards are low I take jameson and take it with no shame And change any dame to jenna jameson Mike posner on the refrain 'Cause you know beer goggles are hell of a thing That ass makes me wanna oo-ooh You know exactly what you do How I'd really like to take that home Everybody here knows... She looks like sex, sex, sex, sex [8x] She looks like Break it down Sex sex She looks... Sex Sex sex Sex sex She looks like sex Sex, sex She looks like sex
S01E26 We Like Them Girls 01/02/2012 We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Functioning vagina-ginas We like them girls with at least two limbs At least two fuckin' limbs And one is a leg - what! We like them girls who can write their name Write it on a piece of paper They can write their name, right We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Functioning vagina-ginas I don't give a damn if a dame is ugly as sin With a bunch of scruff on her chin And one functioning limb She could have a hundred babies From maybe 80 babies' daddies And crazy acne I don't need a babe to make me happy She could be a Russian with a husband Or even my second cousin As long as she doesn't bust on my lovin' End of discussion She could be dyslexic With pits that are wretched I'll even have sex if she's pregnant As long as her vagina ain't an arid desert (Wow) We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Functioning vagina-ginas We like them girls who can eat food, eat food Give 'em some food and they know what to do next We like them girls that don't stab, don't stab Don't stab, don't stab, don't stab We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Functioning vagina-ginas I need a girl Who can blow her nose and count her toes And doesn't need help puttin' on her clothes Walks on the sidewalk, not in the street Can at least get flip-flops on her feet A girl that can form real words with her mouth And color inside the lines Pass a first grade reading and math test Don't gotta do the best She's potty trained and don't mess on the floor I want her to speak [Whisper:] But less is more Know how to think Know how to blink Hey girl, whatcha sweatin' me for? The type of girl I can take outside My standards ain't that high A girl that can make out shapes And knows that rain comes from the sky (Yeah) We like them girls with functionin
S01E27 Alien 15/02/2012 Have you ever felt left out of the group, excluded? Given the boot when you knew you should have been a shoo-in? Like some ancient Druid was pursuant to ruin your life With a curse but worse, he brought his whole damn crew in. And now it’s high noon and you’re a target to shoot at This school’s a battlefield, no wonder you’re truant! They always look at you and they boo at what you’re doing And you go off like a bomb at the Olympics in Munich. Nah, you’re just an extraterrestrial Less than respectable You’ll never get to get the girl You’re just a jester at the festival I guess it’s acceptable To peg your head with vegetables And kick you in the testicles And best of all let you know that you’re a filthy dog And you’ll never be best in show. So why the abuse? ‘Cause all a bully needs is a fucking excuse! [Chorus] Planet Earth I need a friend ‘Cause I’m on the outside looking in I’m an Alien I’m just an Alien Feeling lost but never found ‘Til I found myself being pushed around I’m an Alien Yes, I’m an Alien. I’ma be honest, it gets better I promise So don’t let them ground you down to a pound of sawdust Stay on the stage the longest ’til the gong hits And everybody comments on their fondness Of your polish and your overall knowledge Remain calmest and abolish your modesty ‘Cause honestly you got to be positive You’re a prodigy! You show the world that you’re not to mess with It’s a broken home that makes these bastards aggressive You can expect to get rejected Neglected, stripped naked, and tested ’til they reckon You feel terrible because nothing is comparable Violence ain’t the answer but the pain is unbearable You’re nice and jaded from being isolated Now you coast through life feeling twice as hated. So why the abuse? ‘Cause all a bully needs is a fucking excuse! [Chorus] Axel on the drums! Run! Well, [Chorus] No Ohhh! I’m an Alien Yes, I’m an Alien Ohhh
S01E28 White Boy Wasted Ft Dumbfounded 29/02/2012 We're about to get WHITE BOY WASTED Your Favorite Martian and Dumbfoundead Getting crunk up in here! We're about to get WHITE BOY WASTED We stumble to the house party already buzzed We get retarded when we start drinking Bacardi because Getting wasted in the basement is our only obligation Plus we don't know the meaning of the word moderation I'm, I'm crude when I talk Shirt off, fist fighting every dude on the block And then I'm hugging you Like I ain't gonna see you again Like dude I freaking love you man! Imma drunk dial my ex-girlfriend But first I have to pass out and yack In the downstairs bathroom So raise your red cups up and make noise Cause we drink like Upper middle class teenage boys. Oh it's the weekend And you know what that means Oh it means it's time to party It's time to party White boy, White, White boy wasted [x6] White boy wasted Yo, last night I partied up at a frat house It was full of college kids Singing along to Smash Mouth Half of them passed out A fat dude with his ass out Looking like John Belushi In the movie Animal House All of a sudden somebody yelled out, Keg stand Tow jocks with tube socks and sweatbands They pointed at me And carried me by my legs man I had to do it It probably wasn't the best plan Next thing you know It's a beer pong and takin Jager shots Now I'm in the corner and Throwing up morning tater tots Pissin on police cars Yelling out I hate the cops White boy with dreadlocks Now give me major props Oh it's the weekend And you know what that means Oh it means it's time to party It's time to party White boy, White, White boy wasted [x8] Oh it's the weekend And you know what that means Oh it means it's time to party party All I want to do All I want to do is just get White boy wasted Oh it's the weekend And you know what that means Oh it means it's time to party It's time to party
S01E29 Complicated 14/03/2012 Babe, you're so complicated The way you're putting me down And when we go out with your friends You act like you don't want me around And I get so frustrated How everything ends in a fight Why bring out a candle When you don't even care to see the light And every time you make me cry Every time you make me cry And every time you make me cry I love you a little bit more And every time we start to fight We never seem to get it right And every time you make me cry I love you a little bit more Baby, we're so complicated Took a good thing and turn it around I scream so loudly And you pretend not to hear the sound I get so frustrated I feel like you crossed the line Sometimes you love me And sometimes you act like you don't have the time I'm ready to give up then you remind me why I even started loving you It's the hardest thing I ever had to do And I get so frustrated How everything ends in a fight And then you tell me you love me Then change your mind by the end of the night And every time you make me cry Every time you make me cry And every time you make me cry I love you a little bit more And every time we start to fight We never seem to get it right And every time you make me cry I love you a little bit more You're so complicated I must made an abrupt statement I just hate it your lust faded I'm frustrated I'm suffocating cause you're choking me blue You push me off the edge and now I'm broken in two Well half of me decided not to recognize your lies And the other half of me just wants a moment of truth My emotions are through Twisted like the chains of a park swing Cause you're a puppeteer pulling on my heart strings You're an alien mothership with a tractor beam Pullin' me, tractin' me back into this catastrophe I put Novocaine on my soul again But still the pain hurts, let me clarify exactly how my brain works I love you and I hate you I love you but I hate you I love you but
S01E30 Take Over The World 28/03/2012 (Your Favorite Martian. All right, here go. Check it out.) My grandmama used to tell me one day I would be king And that it could be me to put these dreams into a sling And fling 'em like a bullet 'til they beam the whole ruling regime in the melon. Then I tell 'em that I'm gonna reign supreme But it seems, I'm a damn salmon swimming upstream. I scream 'cause I know just why the caged bird sings. I'll adorn the king's throne, wear his treasure with pleasure, 'Cause this job is temporary, success is forever. Workin' every week at a job I can't stand. I always tell myself that one day I'll be the man. What we gonna do tonight, Brain? We're gonna take over the world. Gonna take over the world. Gonna take over the world. Na nananana na na. Nanananana na nananana na na. What we gonna do tonight, Brain? We're gonna take over the world. Gonna take over the world. Gonna take over the world. (Yeah. We're gonna take over the world, Dee Jay. Me and you. I love that sample. All right, here we go.) Imma shoot straight for the stars in my rocket. No time on the clock. I'm gonna stop it. Kryptonite in my pocket for all the cynical Supermen, surrounding me, crowding me, shrouding me with doubt. They don't how to be proud of me. 'Cause one day I'm gonna run this town when I seize the crown. It's gonna please the crowd. My hands and feet were bound to the ground, at least 'til now because this job is like a prison, but the beast is out. RAWR! I'm not just chasin' these dreams. I'm hiding out in the bushes, and then I wait 'til they leave and jump out and pistol-whip 'em with my loaded ambition. I'm not gonna front. I'm Ethan Hunt on this Impossible Mission. Listen! This ain't a game of Risk in the kitchen. I'm Stewie Griffin in this bitch, and I just flipped the ignition on a click of robotic ninjas programmed to kick my competiti
S01E31 Text Me Back 11/04/2012 I'm checking out your Facebook I drive past where you work You tell me you're my girlfriend But are you even on planet earth? I see you out with your friends but Yo who the hell is that dude? You're not playing with me are you girl? Well hell, I wouldn't put it past you I hate that you just won't text me You say you're out with Becky Why you dress so sexy I check my text every five seconds obsessing That you're in another dude's bedroom undressing. He's got you pressed on your back It's a wrestling match Well anything he's good at I'm the best at that My heart was broken I was hoping it would be left in tact So please let's just chat Just text me back! I wasn't crazy I wasn't crazy I wasn't crazy Until I met you Crazy I wasn't crazy Until I met you I refresh your Facebook Analyze all your wall posts Why'd you leave a smiley face on that one dude's page Or whatever you call those The fact that you flirt with That dirty rat that you work with I feel the love boat sinking I'm trying to bring it back to the surface Why do you keep pictures of your ex around? You think he's better than me? Why you letting me drown? In my own imagination That I face when I'm alone I'm going to wait until you sleep And then I'm going through your phone 'Cause I don't believe you when you tell me He's only a friend I'm not possessive, I'm depressed You let me feel lonely again So I'm sitting in my bedroom checkin' your Facebook Checkin you're Facebook Text me back! I wasn't crazy I wasn't crazy I wasn't crazy Until I met you Crazy I wasn't crazy Until I met you I wasn't crazy I wasn't crazy I wasn't crazy Until I met you I had a dream that I killed you I'm not certain what it means I didn't say that I would do it I said it was a dream Anger is the lone emotion flowing through my veins
S01E32 Jupiter 25/04/2012 There’s nothing left to say I’m not with you You lie so far away from the truth Jupiter you’re on my mind The clock will turn the gears of time I only wanna be with you Symmetry can lean askew It’s gripping on my mind I’ll stay impossible to define while you’re away There’s still nothing to say I’m not with you Sometimes the path least traveled is the avenue The stranger in your life you thought you knew How can I be yellow and still so blue? I’m blue Jupiter you’re on my mind The clock will turn the gears of time I only wanna be with you Symmetry can lean askew It’s gripping on my mind I’ll stay impossible to define while you’re away, you're away Jupiter you’re on my mind The clock will turn the gears of time I only wanna be with you Symmetry can lean askew
S01E33 Just a Friend (Biz Markie Cover) 09/05/2012 Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date But a year to make love she wanted you to wait Let me tell ya a story of my situation I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation The way that I met her was on tour at a concert She had long hair and a short miniskirt I just got onstage drippin', pourin' with sweat I was walkin' through the crowd and gues who I met I whispered in her ear, "Come to the picture booth So I can ask you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof" I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused I said, "How do you like the show?" She said, "I was very amused" I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid- range But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange Then when I asked, "Do ya have a man," she tried to pretend She said, "No I don't, I only have a friend" You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend But you say he's just a friend, oh baby You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend But you say he's just a friend, oh baby You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend But you say he's just a friend So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime 'Cause I have friends and that's a fact Like Axel, DeeJay, but Benatar's whack Forget about that, let's go into the story About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me So we started talkin', getttin' familiar Spendin' a lot of time so we can build up A relationship or some undderstanding How it's gonna be in the future we was plannin' Everything sounded so dandy and sweet I had no idea I was in for a treat After this was established, everything was cool The tour was over and she went back to school I called every day to see ho
S01E34 Somebody That I Used To Know (Gotye Cover) 23/05/2012 Now and then I think of when we were together Like when you said you felt so happy you could die Told myself that you were right for me But felt so lonely in your company But that was love and it's an ache I still remember You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness Like resignation to the end, always the end So when we found that we could not make sense Well you said that we would still be friends But I'll admit that I was glad it was over But you didn't have to cut me off Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing And I don't even need your love But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough No you didn't have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records and then change your number I guess that I don't need that though Now you're just somebody that I used to know Now you're just somebody that I used to know Now you're just somebody that I used to know Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over But had me believing it was always something that I'd done And I don't wanna live that way Reading into every word you say You said that you could let it go And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know But you didn't have to cut me off Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing And I don't even need your love But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough And you didn't have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records and then change your number I guess that I don't need that though Now you're just somebody that I used to know (Somebody) (I used to know) (Somebody) Now you're just somebody that I used to know (Somebody) (I used to know) (Somebody) Now you're just somebody that I used to know (Somebody) (I used to know) (Somebody) (That I used to know) (Somebody) (I used to know) (Somebody) Read more: http://artists.letssingit.com/your-favorite-martian-lyrics-some
S01E35 Fight For Your Right (Beastie Boys) 06/06/2012 Kick it! You wake up late for school man you don't wanna go You ask you mom, "Please?" but she still says, "No!" You missed two classes and no homework But your teacher preaches class like you're some kind of jerk You gotta fight for your right to party You pops caught you smoking and he said, "No way!" That hypocrite smokes two packs a day Man, living at home is such a drag Now your mom threw away your best porno mag Bust it! You gotta fight for your right to party You gotta fight! Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?" Aw, mom you're just jealous it's the Beastie Boys! You gotta fight for your right to party Party! Party! All right Mom is home, party is over!
S01E36 Love The Way You Lie (Eminem/Rihanna Cover) 20/06/2012 Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, But that's all right, because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, But that's all right, because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie. I can't tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like. And right now, there's a steel knife in my windpipe. I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight. As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight. High off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint. And I love it, the more I suffer, I suffocate. And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, She fuckin' hates me, and I love it. "Wait, where you goin'?" "I'm leavin' you!" "No you ain't! Come back!" We're runnin' right back, here we go again! It's so insane, cause when it's goin' good, it's goin' great. I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane. But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed. I snap, "Who's that dude? I don't even know his name." I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again. I guess I don't know my own strength. Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, But that's all right, because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, But that's all right, because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie. You ever love somebody so much, you can barely breathe. When you with 'em you meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em. Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills used to get 'em. Now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em. You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothin' to hurt 'em. Now you're in each other's face, spewin' venom in your words when you spit 'em. Y
S01E37 Road Rage 04/07/2012 I hate on traffic just as much as the next guy I'd try and bypass them if these bastards would just drive Rush hour all day stuck in hell, bumper to bumper such a fail Stuck in jail, my truck's a cell, I'd rather stab my brain with a rusty nail 'Cause when I'm driving I'm driven and every ride that I sit in I lose my mind I admit it and I'm quick to trip and lose my grip and flip you the bird and I'll rage just like the nerd Yeah, I see you in your Lexus, rubber necking, checkin' messages texting for directions while you're googling nekkid breasteses! These other drivers, they're all brain dead I swear the traffic lights see me and they all change red I thought driving was basic, but I ain't got no patience This old lady needs Lasik, I think I'm going ape shit 'Cause my lane is lookin' like a line at the Chinese drive thru Why's everyone got to drive at the same time I do? Hey man, I'm just trying to drive It feels more like I'm trying to stay alive The only thing you're driving is driving me crazy And I'm getting Road Rage I'm just trying to merge You better back off 'cause I'm on the verge I'm losing my cool Yeah you better get over 'Cause here comes the Road Rage Oh, dont make me get out the car I I'll come over there old lady Awh! Oooh! Ooh! Alright, here we go Why your bumper stickers preachin' telling me to go vegan I'll moon your grandmother in traffic till she pulls over screaming I go crazy on old ladies in Mercedes, they hate me Well maybe I wouldn't be raging if you weren't driving Miss Daisy I'm not speed racing, I'm impatient with the way shit goes in traffic It so happens that I have to embrace it, look what I'm facing Ladies doing makeup, dudes shaving while the same five songs play on the radio station The same five songs! The same five songs! The radio station, they play the same fiv
S01E38 My Balls (Alt Cover) 18/07/2012 Girl, I know you left me But there was something I forgot to show you. Check it out... Baby girl, you left me. Oh no! We broke up. It's been a while since we last spoke, but I need another chance. Can you give me that? 'Cause there's something in my pants that'll win you back. I wanna be your man again, But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston. And I know you said you'd never call, But girl, you ain't seen my balls. You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls. (repeat) My balls are so awesome. Don't get me started. They're so damn big. How big are they? They're so big. It's really obnoxious. It's like two ewoks chillin' in my boxers. They're so big. I can't hold 'em back. Even Cartman's like, man those are fat. They're so big. They're run over your feet. That's why when they back up you hear a beep beep. And how can I be subtle, when my balls chase Indiana Jones through a tunnel? And everyone at Disney World keeps telling me That Epcot Center looks at 'em with jealousy. In fact, when you see 'em on the street they'll Fight Godzilla to the death in the sequel. I'm guessing soon you'll be hoping I'm back, 'Cause my balls are so big they've got an opening act. You-you-you-you ain't seen my balls. (repeat) My balls are so epic, and I ain't boastin', but they have an effect on the tides in the ocean. And when the sun's right, it might cause A total solar eclipse of my balls. 'Cause these things are where it's happenin', and when I whip 'em out you'll take me back again. Should I compare 'em to a brontosaurus? No, excuse me I'm on the chorus. I got what you need. And you'd said you'd never call, But girl you ain't seen these balls. I wanna be your man again, But you left me like I'm Jennifer Aniston. And I know you said you'd never call, But girl,
S01E39 Alien (Unplugged) 01/08/2012 Planet Earth I need a friend 'Cause I'm on the outside looking in I'm an Alien I'm just an Alien Feeling lost but never found, 'Til I found myself being pushed around. I'm an Alien Yes, I'm an Alien Have ever you felt left out of the group, excluded? Given the boot when you knew you should have been a shoo-in? Like some ancient Druid was pursuant to ruin your life With a curse but worse He brought his whole damn crew in And now it's high noon And you're a target to shoot at This school's a battlefield No wonder you're truant! They alway look at you and They boo at what youre doing And you go off like a bomb At the Olympics in Munich. Nah, you're just an extraterrestrial, Less than respectable You'll never get to get the girl You're just a jester at the festival I guess it'd be acceptable, To peg your head with vegetables And kick you in the testicles And best of all let you know That you're a filthy dog And you'll never be best in show So why the abuse? 'Cause all a bully needs is another excuse Planet Earth I need a friend 'Cause Im on the outside looking in I'm an Alien I'm just an Alien Feeling lost but never found, 'Til I found myself being pushed around I'm an Alien Yes, I'm an Alien I'mma be honest, it gets better I promise So don't let them ground you down To a pound of sawdust Stay on stage the longest 'til the gong hits And everybody comments on their fondness Of your polish and your overall knowledge Remain calmest and abolish your modesty 'Cause honestly you gotta be positive You're a prodigy! You show the world That you're not one to mess with It's a broken home That makes these bastards aggressive You can expect to get rejected Neglected, stripped, naked and Tested until they reckon You feel terrible because nothing is comparable Violence ain't the answer But the pain is unbearable You'
S01E40 Jump Around (House of Pain Cover) 15/08/2012 Pack it up, pack it in Let me begin I came to win Battle me that's a sin I won't tear the sack up Punk you'd better back up Try and play the role and yo the whole crew will act up Get up, stand up, come on! Come on, throw your hands up If you've got the feeling jump across the ceiling Muggs is a funk fest, someone's talking junk Yo, I'll bust em in the eye And then I'll take the punks hoe Feelin- funky Amps in the trunk And I got more rhymes than there's cops Dunkin Donut's shop Sure 'nuff I got props from the kids from the Hill Plus my mom and my pops [Chorus] I came to get down [2x] So get out your seats and jump around Jump around [3x] Jump up Jump up and get down Jump [18x] I'll serve your ass like John MacEnroe If your girl steps up, I'm smacking the ho Word to your moms I came to drop bombs I got more rhymes than the bible's got psalms And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned Cause I got lyrics and you ain't got none So if you come to battle bring a shotgun But if you do you're a fool, cause I duel to the death Try and step to me you'll take your last breath I gots the skill, come get your fill Cause when I shoot ta give, I shoot to kill [Chorus] Listen to the sound that pounds, I jump around I'm no clown, I get down To the funk, listen to the wig out And step to the rear, dear, cause I'm here The P to the E to the T E rockin' The runs in your stockin' So hon, put the lock in Chillin' with the House Of Pain Blood stains the ground Huh, I jump around I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top I never eat a pig cause a pig is a cop Or better yet a terminator Like Arnold Schwarzenegger Try'n to play me out like as if my name was Sega But I ain't going out like no punk bitch Get used to one style and you know I might switch It up up and around, then buck buck you down Put out your head t
S01E41 Bartender SOng (Rehab Cover) 29/08/2012 Bartender I really did it this time Broke my parole to have a good time when I got home it was 6 A.M. the door was locked so I kicked it in she was tripping on the bills I think she was high on some pills she threw my shit out into the yard Then she called me a bum and slapped me real hard and in my drunken stooper I did what I shoulda never done and now I'm sittin here talkin to you drunk and on the run [Chorus:] Im sittin at a bar on the inside waitin for my ride on the outside she stole my heart in the trailer park so I jacked the keys to fuckin car And crashed that peice of shit and then stepped away Ya know Moe I'll probably get ten years so just give me beers til they get here yeah I know the sun is comin up and yall are probably gettin ready for closin up but I'm tryin to drive my soul I'm tired of this life on a dirt road now they say that all love is gone and I'm tired of hangin on [Chorus:] They got me sittin at a bar on the inside waitin for my ride on the outside she stole my heart in the trailer park So I jacked the keys to her fuckin' car And crashed that piece of shit and then stepped away Guess it was meant to be romance is misery so much for memories so now I'm headed to the penatentuary see me on TV the next cop series I am a danger I guess I shoulda did something about my anger but I'll never learn real things I dont concern I poured kerosene on everything I loved and watched it burn I know its my fault but I wasnt happy it was over she stole my heart so I crashed her fuckin car and I'm goin back again back to the pen to see my friends and when we all pile up that county van they gonna ask me where I been [Chorus:] I been at a bar on the inside waitin for my ride on the outside she stole my heart in the trailer park so I jacked the keys to fuckin car And crashed that piece of shit and then stepped away Nah na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na They got m
S01E42 High Voltage (Linkin Park Cover) 12/09/2012 It's high voltage you cant shake the shock Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out It's high voltage you cant shake the shock Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out I've been digging into crates ever since I was livin in space Before the ratrace, before apes had human traits I mastered numerology with bigbang theology Performed lobotomies we're telekinetic psychology Invented the mic so I could start blessin it And chincheckin kids to make my point like an impressionist Many men have tried to shake us But I twist mic cords to double helixes and show them what I'm made of I buckle knees like leg braces Cast the spell of instrumental-ness and all emcees that hate us So try on, leave you without a shoulder to cry on From now to infinity let icons be bygones I fire bomb ghostly notes haunt this I've tried threats but moved on to a promise I stomp shit with or without an accomplice And run the gauntlet with whoever that wants this It's high voltage you cant shake the shock Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out It's high voltage you cant shake the shock Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out It's high voltage you cant shake the shock Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out It's high voltage you cant shake the shock Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out Akira, put a kink in the backbones of clones with microphones Never satisfy my rhyme jones Sprayin bright day over what you might say Blood type krylon Technicolor type A On highways right with road rage I'm patient to win The cage and the tin to bounce all around Surround sound devouring the scenes Subliminal gangrene paintings Overall the same things sing songs karaoke copy madness Break bones verbally with sticks and stone tactics Fourth dimension, combat convention Write rhymes with ease while the tracks stand at attention (Attention) Meant to put you away with the pencil Pistol, official, 16 line rhyme missile While you
S01E43 Boom Headshot (YFM Mashup) 26/09/2012 [Chorus:] Boom Headshot! Boom Headshot! When the album drops were like- BOOM! I step in the arena I get my knuckles crackin' I try to keep them clean, but who knows what could happen They say I nerd rage They don't understand If they keep talking trash, bitch My grandma used to tell me one day I would be king And that it would be me to put these dreams into a sling And fling em' like a bullet till they beam the whole ruling regime And the melon that I tell em' that I'm gonna reign supreme like (Chorus) Working every week at a job I can't stand Always tell myself that one day I'll be the man What we gonna do tonight brain? We gonna take over the world gonna take over the world gonna take over the world Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na What we gonna do tonight brain? Crazy- Until I met you! 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world. 8-bit, 8-bit, 8-bit world. You know we living in a 8-bit world Side scrolling in this 8-bit world Collecting coins in a 8-bit world We're next level like (chorus) Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win We bring the house down Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win We crush our enemies Every day day and every night night I am gonna fight fight fight to win We bring em to the knees Every day day and every night night I am gonna- Oh no, it's a robot barfight! Nerd rage Nerd rage I got that nerd rage Nerd rage Nerd rage (Nerd) Nerd rage Nerd rage Nerd rage Nerd (chorus,but last line is different) ...when the album drops we're like... You ain't seen these balls.

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